My Life as a Book
by DontHateMeCuzImBeautiful
Summary: Starting to get restless in the long nights of being a vampire Bella decides that now's as good a time as any to write her own book. Until she makes a discovery that's just a little too coincidental to ignore...


**Disclaimer:** _Unless my Christmas wish comes true I still do not own Twilight or, worst of all, Edward or Jacob : (_

**A/N:** _Er, I just want to apologize ahead of time for my absolute and total manipulation of how Stephenie came up with Twilight. However, it was hilarious and I accept total responsibility for any hilarity that may ensue from this fic ^-^_

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**My Life as a Book**

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I had known before I even mentioned it that I should never tell Edward that I was bored. In all actuality, 'bored' wasn't even the right word. 'Restless' was more like it, and I didn't appreciate it one bit. I'd long thought about picking up a hobby, but I wasn't necessarily going to be welcome into a book reading club by all the other mothers in town. Edward and I were lying in bed together when I had briefly mentioned this, more as a joke than anything else. His eyebrows had immediately gathered together, his typical thinking pose, and suggested, almost too lightly, that maybe I should write a book. After all, I'd had more happen to me in 3 years than most people had happen to them in their entire lifetime.

At the time I was quite against it. What would be the point? I had argued. Everyone that was going to read it (or believe it) had experienced it first hand for themselves; did they really need to read it from my point of view? Of course, he'd only insisted that it could give me some peace of mind that I could keep it as a kind of memoir. After all, Renesmee might want to read it someday, and who was I to deprive our daughter of how her parents first met? That, for me, was what tipped it all. He had a point, though I only grudgingly admitted it. I would remember meeting Edward for the rest of my life, but maybe our child and her children wouldn't be as lucky. After all, there was only so much that I could re-tell them in 100 years…

So, however grudgingly, I agreed that starting our story from when I got pregnant with our daughter wouldn't be so bad. Enough interesting stuff had happened with the vampire royalty the Cessione, Renesmee being born and Jacob imprinting on her, not to mention the wolf tribe getting split in two. Yeah, it didn't sound so bad at all. _I'd_ be interested in reading it, if it were me; and it was.

Edward didn't think it would be practical if I physically wrote it with regular old paper and pen, so he bought me a new laptop for my discoveries. It was the first time in about a year that I had bothered to use technology and even now I settled into it like a child first discovering the television. Though I had used it for the first 17 years of my life as naturally as anyone else in the 21st century, through my new vampire eyes everything was so very fresh, every experience from my past life erased to be started over again. As soon as I pressed the 'On' button of the new MacBook Air Edward had insisted on buying for me when I'd complained about my old computer, my senses seemed to go into complete overload. The cutesy jingle that sounded when it turned on was bitter sweet music to my ears, the lighting up of the screen creating a collage of different reactions through me. Sure, the colors were amazingly cool, but they would have been bright to my dulled human eyes so my vampire ones were having a mini heart attack.

"Woah…" I breathed as I slowly lifted a wary finger to the keyboard.

I remembered a lot of familiar things from my human years and discovered the most familiar application of all at the bottom of the screen. I slid the mouse carefully over to the Microsoft Word icon and tapped twice, gently, to choose it. A blank page shot up almost instantly, and without hesitating, I began. Everything after that was kind of a blur. My fingers could move much faster than I thought possible, tapping over the keys to create a kind of beat under my hands, a tempo that no one but me could keep up with me. It was an exhilarating feeling, to be able to tap away all of my thoughts, feelings, and mini fiascos since I'd become a vampire to the present. I stayed at the computer monitor for hours, only stopping when Renesmee came softly padding into the living room where I'd been working at about 7 in the morning.

Brushing her brown hair out of her face she whispered, "Mommy what are you doing?"

I scooped her up into my arms, brushing her sleep riddled hair back out of her face and kissed her forehead. "Mommy's going to write a story for you for when you get older," I told her with a loving smile.

Her cute little eyebrows wrinkled together in an almost comical impression of her father, and the look sent a little jolt through my heart. She was just too perfect for me. Slowly, she placed a hand on my face and showed me everyone in our family, asking without words who was going to be in this story. I laughed and nodded at everyone she showed, from Jacob to Edward, to Rosalie and Emmett, to Alice and Jasper, Esme and Carlisle, the wolf pack that she'd met, and, finally, onto me.

"Yes Renesmee, they'll all be there. Maybe in a couple of years you can write your own story about us. Growing up around a bunch of vampires and werewolves has got to be an interesting read…"

"I thoroughly agree."

I turned at the sound of Edward's voice, smiling lightly at his absolutely cheered expression. He'd quite obviously just come in from hunting, his normally perfectly sweet scent tinged with the even sweeter scent of blood. As he walked in the door Renesmee scrambled off my lap and launched herself at her father.

"Daddy!"

Her sweet 3 year old voice echoed clear as a bell through the hall and my smile widened at the expression on Edward's face as he pulled her tightly into his arms. She pulled away only to place her hand on his cheek and he chuckled at whatever she was showing him. Still smiling I turned back to the computer and continued the paragraph I'd been working on. I heard Edward tell Renesmee to go and get dressed because Jacob would be here soon before he came up behind me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I leaned back onto his chest without taking my hands or my eyes from the keyboard.

"How is it coming along?" He asked sweetly and I tore my eyes away for just a moment to smile up at him.

"I've just gotten to the part where Esme gave us this house. Describing the closet is taking a little more work than I thought it would," I told him.

He chuckled and murmured breathlessly in my ear, "So…have you gotten to that night yet?"

I giggled shyly as he placed a doting kiss on the side of my neck and whispered back, "I thought this book was for your daughter? I'm sure she won't want to read about her parents being together when she's a teenager…"

He laughed and then sighed, pulling away seconds before the doorbell rang. His expression changed to one of slight annoyance but more amusement than anything else as he kissed me one last time and literally flashed to the door. I sighed as well and finally got up from my perch to greet Jacob.

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It took me a week to finish writing what was soon to become known as 'The Book' in both of our households, and as soon as I was done it seemed like everyone from Edward to Charlie was scrambling to read it. Honestly I didn't think the book itself was a big deal; after all it was supposed to be for Renesmee as a memoir, not a fictional tale for other people's entertainment. Still, I was proud of what I perceived as an impressive accomplishment and was completely thrilled for Edward to read it first.

It took him precisely one night to read all 500 pages of my memoir, loosely titled "Breaking of the Dawn: Renesmee's story". We'd been staying at the house with the rest of the family when he came bounding down the stairs, mumbled to Alice that she needed to keep an eye on Renesmee for a while and took me home for a little…grownup bonding time.

He absolutely loved it, gushing over his favorite parts, the way that I'd written certain things. He also grimaced over parts that he didn't know the details of, such as attaining Renesmee and Jacob's fake ID's and passports when I'd thought we were going to be killed by the Cessione. He'd cringed when I described my transformation and laughed outrageously when I told him about my reactions to Jacob's imprinting. All in all it was a good night that only got better.

The next day he wasted no time in printing and bounding two more copies of the Memoir to spread the joy within the entire family. Wherever I went now, in either house or cottage, I was being tormented by a quote from Emmett, or getting a gracious and loving hug from Alice or Esme as they told me how they felt about how much they'd helped me. Though I don't think that anyone's reaction was more surprising than Rosalie's. She'd told me that her favorite part was of how I'd perceived her help with the pregnancy, told me it was her pleasure, hugged me and then, get this, _kissed me on the cheek_. The entire encounter lasted about a millisecond, but it was a millisecond that I would relive all day.

In fact, by the end of the week I was sure that everyone who knew the truth about what had happened had read and critiqued my work, telling me at least twice that it was amazing. The only one who complained in the slightest was Jacob, insisting that since he was going to be Renesmee's future one day he should get to tell the story from his point of view. I allowed him a good portion of his own written perspective (about 300 pages give or take) and even Edward had to admit that it tied in quite nicely. I teased Jacob endlessly about having a new profession after he finished with the whole wolf thing. The best part was when he'd grumbled that he wanted to become a police officer, Renesmee had shaken her head, and he had amended that he'd be whatever gave him more money to support her in the future.

Classic.

I was so completely wrapped up in my new accomplishment that it didn't phase me at all when I decided to complete the entire memoir with the end of my human years starting with me and Edward's wedding. This was strictly for Edward's eyes only, until Alice saw that everyone was going to read it and love the addition just as much as the original. So I gave in and let everyone read that too.

After the initial shock and reaction of my actually completing a "book," the family pushed for me to write more, only as a novel, and from the very beginning. After all, the love Edward and I shared spanned 3 years, countless life-threatening situations, a love triangle and a child. It was enough to have any science-fiction nut go ballistic, but I stood firm on my decision to just have the end be the end. Edward, however, was not so sure. He pushed harder than any of his family for me to get Renesmee's memoir published, something that shocked me to no end. What was he thinking? _Published_? Seriously? No matter how many times he asked, this was the one thing that I had to deny him.

"Alright Bella," he'd finally conceded one night as he'd wrapped his arms around my waist and inhaled a deep breath, "If _you_ don't want to publish it, _I_ won't force you."

At the time I'd hardly thought at all of the odd inflections in his voice when he'd told me this. His teeth nibbling on my ear was doing strange things to my system and I was hardly coherent enough to ask him what he meant…

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3 months passed by without any more mention of the memoir I had so tirelessly worked on, save for the little attempts Edward still made to get me to consent to publishing. His attempts became more and more half-hearted until I was sure that he'd given up altogether.

How wrong I was.

Anyway, 3 months later (I vividly remember it being a misty Tuesday morning) Renesmee and Jacob came bursting in the front door, Renesmee on Jake as she held on tightly to his back, and a great wad of mail. At first I was perplexed; we never got mail at the cottage since all mail went through Carlisle or Edward first. What with Alice always expecting what was coming it made most of the paper pointless by the time it reached us. I took the mail gently from Renesmee, kissing her cheek before she and Jacob were out the door again, her shriek of a laugh echoing even from this distance.

I laughed a little under my breath but my humor turned to curiosity as I noticed the thickest envelope labeled, "Little Brown Company, Stephenie Meyer."

_Stephenie Meyer_? I'd never heard of her, either as a celebrity or as one of Edward's old friends. The letter was clearly addressed to Mr. Edward Cullen and instantly I began to burn (figuratively, of course). Who the hell was she and what did she want with Edward? Slitting the top open with a perfect fingernail I slid the top most piece of paper up so that I could read it.

_Twilight._

My eyebrow immediately rose in curiosity. The name didn't ring a bell at all, and yet something about it was completely compelling, drawing me to it and pushing me away in the same instance…

"Bella?"

I jumped at the sound of Edward's calm and welcoming voice but didn't hide the package like my instincts told me to. I did, however, slip the paper back down completely into the envelope so that the title and name of the mysterious woman was out of view.

All of this happened in the space of a breath, just before Edward turned the corner and headed toward me with an intent smile on his face. Despite my cornucopia of emotions I smiled back and kissed him as soon as he was within my reach.

"Did you happen to see our daughter ride by on that monster she will one day call a husband?" He commented playfully and I found that I was actually too anxious to really act.

Instead I giggled a little nervously and replied, "He'll be a good husband though. He's got some bad qualities, but Jacob _never_ keeps secrets."

Before Edward could dissect that sentence any further I gestured towards the package and letter in my hand as I explained, "This came for you. I'm assuming it's something important since it came here instead of through Carlisle…"

Though he eyed me with slight suspicion Edward took it from me and murmured, "Interesting."

He left the room abruptly but returned in the blink of an eye without the package or the letter in his hands, looking even more anxious than before and slightly…fearful? He knew that I knew something, and I wasn't going to tell him what it was.

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Later that night while Edward was out with Emmett and I'd put Renesmee to bed, I decided to do a little research. I was going to find out who this Stephenie person was and what exactly she was writing to Edward for. I went back to my new best friend MacBook Air and rediscovered the internet. At first I wasn't really sure what I was going to look up. I finally settled on Google and just typed in what I'd seen.

"Stephenie Meyer, Edward, Little Brown Company."

I was apprehensive at first, slightly nervous to the idea of finding out something that was obviously supposed to be a secret. After all, Edward never kept anything from me unless it was to protect me. This only solidified my resolve to find out what exactly it was he was keeping me out of.

154,000 results popped up more numerous and more open than anything I'd expected. I quickly scrolled down the menu with my eyes, but it was the second one on the list that caught my eye.

_. Twilight Series…?_

With apprehension churning in my gut I clicked on the link and waited. The second that I waited seemed like an eternity, but finally, a page of green and blue popped up. Reading down the page I discovered the existence of Twilight, a book, it seemed, that was first thought up by the author (Stephenie Meyer) in a dream. It was basically a page all about this woman's inspirational night time tryst in her mind and how she got her incredibly popular book Twilight published. I was drawn in despite myself, but then I didn't understand why it was that she and Edward were writing to each other.

Until I got to halfway down the page.

Apparently it involved a vampire, a family of vampires actually, but one in particular who fell in love with a human girl. For a second my eyes widened. This woman, Stephenie, had an awfully wild imagination, very creative…Just as I was beginning to think that there was no end to the surreal-ness in the world I got to the part where she named her characters.

Edward and Isabella.

It took my mind a moment to function, to put two and two together. Finally, it clicked, and I reeled back as if slapped. Edward, Isabella, vampires…what were the odds that this Stephenie person came up with all of this on her own? She didn't, she couldn't, there was no way it could be that much of a coincidence. But no; I had to know whether it was what I thought it was.

I would have to read this 'Twilight'.

As with all other things, I returned to Google and looked up the book. They had the first 3 chapters posted on a website and I eagerly dove into it; and was completely shocked. There I was, in black and white print, my thoughts, personal feelings and absolute privacy out for everyone to see. I immediately wondered who the hell this Stephenie was and how she knew so much about me when she didn't even _know_ me. That's when I realized something.

I raced into our bedroom like a bat out of hell and threw open the drawer where I knew it would be. I dug around underneath papers, my battered copy of Wuthering Heights and Romeo and Juliet, all the way to the bottom. My journal lay there as innocently as a newborn, but something was off from it. The bottom corner was torn, just a fragment, where someone had hastily tried to push it back into the drawer before I came in…

"_**EDWARD!**_"

I waited the few seconds it would take for him to hear me, and then the minute and thirty seconds it would take him to get from the forest to me. I waited, my anger and disbelief rolling off of me practically in waves so that when he did emerge 67 seconds later I was built up into a rage the likes of which I'd never unleashed on my husband.

Edward zoomed in, worry etched into his face and fear clouding his eyes. "Bella what is it? Are you okay? Oh God, Renesmee-!" He blubbered, but one look at my entire demeanor and an icy glare silenced him.

"Renesmee is _fine_. I can't really say the same for you though…" I growled. His eyebrow lifted but quickly lowered when I showed him my journal. He remained silent so I whispered, "_Twilight_? Ringing any bells?"

For a second he opened his mouth as if to play dumb, but I must have looked too fierce for him to lie. Instead he sighed and placed both of his hands in front of his face in the age old symbol of surrender. "Where to begin…?" He muttered, mostly to himself, but I hissed as though he'd spoken to me.

"Why don't you start with Stephenie Meyer and this book that's written about a vampire falling in love with a human?" I glared even more fiercely, vaguely recognizing that my anger was spinning wildly out of control. Yet I couldn't bring myself to reign it in. Not yet…

Edward sighed again, looked me straight in the eye as he replied, "Bella, you really are making too big a deal about this. I just wanted other people to hear your side of the story, to know your amazing life."

He paused, waiting for me to interrupt. When I didn't, he continued as though he'd never stopped. "After I read Renesmee's memoir I immediately thought of getting it published. After all, who could say that they'd given birth to the most perfect half-vampire baby in the world and lived?"

He choked a bit on the last word and in his small hesitation I couldn't help but ask, "What about keeping our secrecy? You know more than anyone that the Cessione are going to come after us again. As soon as they hear about this they're going to come straight back here and-!"

For the first time he looked genuinely amused as he interrupted to explain, "Love, don't worry about the Cessione or the secrecy of our world. Stephenie understands that we can't keep everything the same. She's changed the Cessione to the Volturi and our last names as well-,"

"To what?" Through my anger I was still brightly curious as to where he thought this was going.

Without missing a beat he replied, "Cullen."

I made a face and murmured, "I like Casson better…"

Edward chuckled and replied, "Yes, Alice was rather disgruntled at the change as well. She doesn't see why we have to change a thing. But that's Alice for you…"

"So she's changed the names…?" I gestured impatiently for him to finish.

He snapped out of it and continued, "She's changed to the Volturi, our last names, and we now live in Forks, Washington."

"Forks? We live in Seattle. That's hardly a change at all," I complained, though my protesting was growing less and less frequent. I was still mad though.

He shook his head. "It's hours away from Seattle. Besides, we just moved here. Her Cullen family lived in Forks for years before her Bella moved from Phoenix."

"Phoenix? I've never even been to Arizona."

Edward rolled his eyes, suddenly as impatient with me as I'd been with him moments before as he explained, "It's all in the name of acting. She's trying to change as much as possible while sticking to the original story."

I sighed and asked, "How did you meet this Stephenie again?"

At this he shuffled slightly uncomfortably and replied, "Alice saw her."

I groaned. Sometimes I really hated having such unique members in my family… "Alice _saw_ her?"

He nodded. "Yes. She couldn't tell me her name, but when I was on the internet her face came up as one of Phoenix's newspaper article writers. She used to freelance write in a local paper of hers. Anyway, I contacted her, anonymously of course, with the idea for a story I thought she might like. I told her about our day in the meadow and asked her what she thought. She sent me back 5 chapters from your point of view and it was absolutely splendid."

I took all of this in for a minute before asking, "From my point of view?"

He gestured to the journal in my hands and everything abruptly fell into place. Who this Stephenie was, what exactly Twilight was, why Edward had wanted me to get Renesmee's memoir published…

"_**YOU TURNED MY LIFE INTO A BOOK?!?!?"  
**_

At my sudden burst of outrage he flinched a little, but lifted his hands up again and started, "Now Bella I understand why you'd be a little upset about this and you have every right to-!"

"_Right_? You're damn right that I have a right to be angry! You took everything personal, everything I've ever felt for you, every way that I've felt since I've met you and gave it to the entire world to see without so much as a warning!" I ranted, starting to pace the length of the room and back again.

"Bella, love-,"

"Don't 'Bella love' me! Edward, this is the single most selfish thing you've ever done! When were you going to tell me about this? Were you ever?" I growled, but I could feel my anger draining to be replaced with something deeper; hurt, disbelief, betrayal…

Edward shook his head, the same emotions I was feeling (except for the last one) showing plain as day on his own face. "I know, I know; I've been selfish and I knew that you'd be angry with me. But I swear to you that I was going to tell you as soon as I could. Please Bella, I really am sorry…"

He was practically pleading with me and the sight of it had my heart sinking in my gut. My anger was slowly melting away to be replaced with something else. Resignation, maybe? After all, what was done was done and there was nothing I could do about it.

Edward mistook my silence for my continued anger and he stepped closer to me, taking both of my hands in his own and looking me straight in the eye. "Bella? Please Bella, tell me what you would like me to say to make it up to you. What is it that you want? I'll take it off the market. I knew this was a bad idea; I'll go and call Stephenie right this second and tell her that the deal's off-"

"Edward," I murmured so quietly it was a wonder he could hear it. He stopped immediately and I gave him a tremulous smile. "It's late, she won't even be awake. Just, just calm down okay?"

He sighed heavily, relief brightening his eyes as he replied, "Oh love, I'm so sorry. As soon as the sun is up I'll call her and the publisher's and this will all be over."

I shook my head and he looked up at me in confusion. "No Edward, it's okay."

He looked at me as though I'd lost my mind and I laughed at the expression. "You mean, it's okay that I put your entire life on display for everyone to see in a book? You're okay with the fact that I didn't tell you before now? That everyone knows about you, our lifestyle, our family?"

I laughed again, mostly because of his absolute disgust for himself, but I kissed him quickly on the cheek and replied, "Of course, I am a little pissed that you didn't tell me, but at least now Renesmee will know exactly how everything came to be how it is."

He finally smiled, relief and happiness that I was actually giving into what had already taken place taking over his features. Embracing me tightly he exclaimed, "I knew you'd love it!"

I shook my head but accepted his kiss willingly when he pulled back and pressed his lips to mine. Now that I actually accepted it I was a little giddy. Now Renesmee would have 2 books, more stories to tell her children when they grew up and had questions of their own. I just had one quandary with the whole book thing…

"Edward?" I murmured into his shoulder where I had buried my face when he embraced me again.

"What is it?"

"Do people…do people, you know, _like _me?"

For a second he was still with shock, but then he threw his head back and laughed. "_Like_ you? Bella, they can't get enough of you! Twilight's number one of the New York Bestseller List. We're gonna be around for a long time yet…"

I sighed and smiled happily. "I like the sound of that…"

He chuckled and steered me toward the bed, laying me down in protective circle of his arms. We lay together for a long time and I listened to him tell me all about Twilight and how teenage girls all over the United States had fallen in love with me. I knew _exactly_ who they'd fallen in love with, and it wasn't me at all. Of course, Edward wouldn't listen when I insisted that they read one description of him from my point of view and they fell in love with the perfect prince known as Edward.

Finally, the sun began to come up on the horizon and I sighed, snuggling deeper into his chest. "Well, at least it's all over now. It can't get that big…"

I felt Edward stiffen slightly beside me.

"What is it?"

"Um, did I mention the sequel?"

"What? Well, that's not so bad…"

"…and the movie deal?"

"WHAT?!?"


End file.
